Have you ever REALLY tried NOT to bribe….??

My return trip from Delhi............. (Really long article -- don't blame me if you get bored)

I’m heading back to Bombay today, lying down in this extremely uncomfortable and microscopic top berth of the Rajdhani where I think the only time in my life that this space would have been enough for me would have been when I was a foetus… I have had to re-learn my foetal position only to still find my legs being bruised every time someone opens the door to this compartment. All jokes aside, my journey to this point of equilibrium in the country’s premier train has been quite a ride so far, and so I decided to write.

My planning for this day started 2 months ago (that’s when you need to book to get a confirmed ticket) and even then my last day was bound to have the excitement it did and here is why… I had decided to bring back with me my motorbike, my small hotel-type fridge, and a huge load of my books which themselves weighed a little under 80kgs, all of which required to be transported in the luggage compartment of the same train. This I have heard can be quite a task since you have to go through a number of babus before your work gets done. I knew it was too much to expect everything to go smoothly on the last day itself and so I decided to pay a visit to the railway station a couple of days in advance to know and learn the entire process. My well-intentioned ‘research’ all but led to nothing since when I reached the station I am categorically told that they won’t talk to me about my luggage till 3 hours before the train’s scheduled time of departure. That obviously left me with little room to prepare. So, I tried getting as much information as I could and left. I followed this up with some internet research to make sure I have all the documents required and finally arrived at the station on the day of my departure four hours in advance – just to be sure!

And so the travails of my travel began. I go to the luggage booking counter. This time holding a ticket for a train scheduled to leave in few hrs, and so, I am allowed to talk. I had all my documents and the guy at the counter made no fuss at all and told me to bring the bike inside for packing. WOWWWW ! I hadn’t even dreamed of things going so smoothly. And so, with a huge smile on my face I start moving my bike inside and suddenly my smile faded away as quickly as it had come on. A policeman approaches me and my bike and asks for the registration papers. Next I am asked to fill an entry register, and I follow obediently. Next he asks for an NCRB. Now this is where my smile ends. What the hell is an NCRB??? I have no clue what this is and so I ask him most politely to fill me in. He responds confidently that it is a certificate stating that there are no criminal records against the bike in question. “So where do you get it from,” I ask still clueless. And happily he answers, “from RK Puram”. Now since RK Puram was about one hour away from where I was, this demand seemed a bit crazy. To expect people to be here 3 hours before the departure of the train and to go to RK Puram and back in that much time was a bit much. And my feeling generally is that when something so crazy is a requirement, its generally NOT a REQUIREMENT. In any case, in order to confirm that it was not a requirement I go speak to the guy at the luggage booking counter (the no fuss, apparently honest guy), and he tells me that he has nothing to do with the cops, and that these people do this to make some quick money. His advice: “Just give him Rs 50 or something”.  So I go back to the cop and with a very straight face I ask him, “Kya uske bina nahi jaa sakti hai gaadi ?” (Does that mean that this vehicle cannot go without the NCRB?)  and to give it to me in writing that he needs this document.  He refuses to give it to me in writing, but continues to deny me entry. The stalemate continues and he finally says that if I gave him Rs 100 he would let me pass and arrange for the document himself. Here’s where everything changed. Now I know for sure that the NCRB or whatever is not a requirement, because if it were a requirement, he couldn’t bypass it with Rs.100. I told him to wait and started calling people.

I first called this Mr. Antony – who is some ‘small shot’ in the Parliament house. His sagacious advice: “In such a situation it is better to just pay him off a little bit”. Obviously this is not the response I was hoping for, but anyway I wasn’t going to give up so easy. Then I called a relative, who had a friend who was an ex-anti corruption bureau officer. This relative also told me that it may be smarter to just pay him off and in any case he did not even have his friend’s number. So that route was also closed. Then I decided to call this professor I had who was actually also an Assistant Commissioner in the Delhi Police. The only problem was that I did not have his number and there was a very small chance he would pick up his phone. Anyway I called a friend got his number and called him, but as expected he did not pick up. 

I am now running out of contacts and time, It has almost been 1 hours since I came here and so far no progress. My train is in another 3 hrs.  What next...?  What do you think happened next...?

The gates of the station were opened by the cop, and my bike was let in!!!!

Amazing!!! I had managed to get through my first obstacle without paying a bribe! And I was feeling more confident now. But this was not the end of the story. Once I got my stuff inside it needed to be packed- for which there is an extra charge. This seemed to me to be legitimate, as the packing needed to be done in a pretty thorough manner, and they charge Rs. 150 for that. Of course these packers were from some private group, not from the railways. The railway guy who was actually doing the booking seemed very straight (the same guy from the booking counter) and so I decided to ask him if this was a legitimate cost. He told me that I could do the packing myself or pay them to do it – the choice was mine. Since 150 seemed reasonable and I really didn’t have the material to do it myself, I paid them to do the packing.

With the packing and booking done I was beginning to take a sigh of relief. Just to make sure I asked the “packer” guy (who was tailing me throughout), if there was anything more to the formalities. He tells me there is a “loading charge” which is basically for loading everything onto the train. This again seemed reasonable to me, but I decided to check - and again I was back to my imaandaar (honest) man in the booking window. He however told me that I don’t need to do anything more, and so I walked out. 

As I walk out, I meet this other railway guy (the one who is in charge of deciding what goes inside the train) who tells me that there is no guarantee when my packages will reach, and that luggage from the previous day’s bookings are still to be taken.  In short he was basically telling me to pay him if I wanted my stuff to reach any time soon. This was a BIG problem.  Why - because my civil services mains are in a week and all the books I need to study from are packed in those boxes. I am faced with a huge question once again. But then the decision was already made for me. I was sitting for the IAS (civil services exam) because I wanted to be the change I wanted to see – and I could not start it on a note that betrays me right from the start. It is a slippery slope and there is hardly any turning back, once it begins. And so well I left – not knowing till this moment whether I will have my books to study! 

I leave the station. It’s about 3.30 p.m. by now and so I decided to have some lunch.  I finished my lunch, and decide to ask my honest friend in the window one last time if there were any formalities. Once again he tells me that there are none left, and I start to walk out, - when the guy who was deciding what goes on and what does not, stops me and tells me that i need to pay something for the loading. I don’t know what to do now.  Here is what was going through my head: I really needed those books. And two, these boxes of mine were really really heavy plus the bike, the fridge meant a lot of work and so I felt that these people doing the loading probably do deserve more than what they get.  The last time I travelled I had to pay a porter Rs.200 just to load my books alone.  So well I did not mind giving them a tip – but I was unwilling to be forced into giving one. So I decided not to pay and left. 

30 min later I am at the platform with the remnants of my stuff and one of the loading guys comes to me and says that I need to pay Rs. 300 loading charge!!! I told him: See, I don’t mind giving you a tip but I don’t need this stuff. So I am not going to pay you anything to make sure it reaches me on time.  He responds with a warning and a tone that tried to imply that it wouldn’t come at all. To which I responded saying “Wo mein delkh lunga…” (I will see about that). Basically I communicated to him the impression that I knew enough people in the railways to make sure that it reaches.  Then I told him that I was willing to tip him Rs. 80 as I knew it was a tough job but made it clear that it was just my gesture of gratitude and not any compulsion i was under.  He refused, and walked away with an attitude that seemed to say: Let’s see what happens to your stuff”. But I was in no mood to budge.

At this point I decide to call my sister, to ask her what I should do. I do desperately need the books and I desperately don’t want to pay this guy his demand for a “bribe”.  She tells me she’ll call me back as she wants to just think a bit over it.  Then I start making some very important calls… hahahaha… nothing important… I just decide to call some of my friends in delhi to tell them that I’m leaving back for Bombay and other such mundane stuff.  But it had an alternative purpose – it would keep my expressions clear of my inner thoughts while giving me the time to think of my future course of action.  I also walk down the platform to see, that the things to be loaded are already stacked into bundles!!! – This was good news for me because it meant that either my stuff is already packed or its not.  In either case, my paying anything now is not going to have any impact on the future of my luggage.  Then I see my bike, waiting on the platform, also waiting for the train. I heave a sigh of relief and finally think it ok to get off the phone. Soon after a new loading guy comes up to me and makes the same request. And I repeat what I told the previous guy - but this time with more confidence. He quietly takes the Rs.80 tip I was willing to part with. I patted him on the back and thanked him for all the effort he had put in.  The scene ends as the train comes in. I board it and write “Have you ever REALLY tried NOT to bribe….??”

WHY – did everything work out.

In the case of the policeman - It could have been because he thought that I was onto something, I knew somebody, and so well, fear worked and he gave in.

Or it could be that he had some moral transformation and decided to let me go!  But these are not the reasons why I think this happened…

I think that if you have decided in your head that you are not going to pay a bribe, it shows on your face, and he saw that on my face. Of course he could make it difficult no doubt, but if he knows he’s NEVER going to get anything out of you, the chances are he’ll give up. The point perhaps is how clear you make the fact that a bribe is just not on the cards!!!!

It’s not that you can’t get things done without paying up. It is rather how far you are willing to go to BE THE CHANGE you want to see… Do we ever REALLY try NOT to bribe?